Post Traumatic Sleep Disorder

Karina yawned as the professor droned on about some subject she had lost track of. She’d been awake since long before sunrise, and this class was dragging even longer into the night than normal. She tried to look on the bright side, if she was this tired, she might stay asleep tonight.

The other students began packing up and running for the door. "Come on, pay more attention," she grumbled to herself. The classes were hard enough for her without falling asleep during them. She stuffed her own things in her bag and stood up, looking to the blue device wrapped around her wrist. The transceiver showed no messages from Hannah for hours. Hopefully she’s not already asleep, she thought before she planeswalked out.

Luckily, the lights were still on as she appeared in Hannah’s room. Karina's face lit up too as Hannah looked up from whatever was on her desk to the planeswalk. "Hey sunshine." She dropped her bag to pull Hannah into a kiss. They hold each other for another minute before Karina looked to what Hannah had been working on, some aethertech device or another that she couldn’t make heads or tails out of, even with three years of visiting Volaria now under her belt. That must mean... "Aww, you’ve still got homework?"

"Yeah, sorry." Hannah smiled as cutely as she could. "I was supposed to be done this, like, a week ago and kept getting distracted." She moved to pick up some mess of metal and cables. Whatever it was supposed to do, only Hannah could know.

Karina gave her a guilty grin. "Well... don’t you worry. I’ll be sure to stay up aaaallllll night so you don’t have to be alone with the homework." There wasn't another chair, so she sat on the bed beside the desk.

"The last time you tried that, you fell asleep," Hannah replied, sticking her tongue out at Karina. She turned her attention back to the delicate connectors between her cables. "How early'd you get up this time?"

"I had spear training, so… before sunrise..." she admitted. Well before sunrise, really, but Hannah didn’t need to be worried about some nightmares, did she? "But I’ll have you know I’m an expert at staying up late. As long as I don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow...which I don’t this time!"

"If you want to, I could help you fall asleep." Hannah tapped her transceiver a couple of times before reading something off it. "The complex nature of the dimensionality vector lies in the nature of aetheric resonance and, uh…" Hannah looked up at Karina as though she didn't know the next word.

"Hey, no," Karina laughed through a yawn, "that’s cheating."

"Well, it's a good thing I don't need to say what I'm doing then, huh?"

"Maybe I should talk then. Ummm…" she thought as she laid back on the bed. "Oh, I might have a kinda-sorta mission soon! It’s exciting... but it would mean I wouldn’t be able to come over much for a few weeks."

"Ooh, that is exciting. What're you gonna be doing?"

"So it’s a plane they just found, and the people who live there don’t know much about it." She quietly yawned again. The bed was so nice after a day of her own work. "So I’m gonna help with the mapping and... learning about all the wildlife and... stuff. Trying to find new places for the people and everything. But it means I can’t always leave easily or I’ll get lost and have to start over. Kinda... worried about that part." She could rest her eyes right? Right. There’s no way she was falling asleep yet.

"Don't worry, I'll always be here when you get back." Hannah assured her.

A few moments go by before Karina continues. "And it sounds like there’s going to be lots of new spells to learn? I’m not sure how that works yet, but I know it’s part of why they’re sending me." "That's exciting too! I can't wait to see what kinds of awesome things you learn to do."

"I can’t either…" Karina’s voice started to falter. "Speaking of…" But she wasn’t going to fall asleep yet, had to stay awake for both of them. "How much longer do you think your thing will take?"

"Uh…" Hannah tapped her transceiver. "A couple more hours before I can test it, maybe? It's just a bunch of conduit things."

Another minute goes by before she finally mumbles, "Maybe you’ll be able to get more done if I’m not around distracting you."

"I've got all night, you're not gonna distract me that much. Also…" Hannah turned to look at Karina, now asleep, and chuckled. "So, about that 'staying up all night'..."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ''Karina wanders around some plane in her work uniform. Twigs snap under her boots and the tools in her pockets make the only other sounds in the quiet forest. Walking in the woods, somewhere on the Arena? This is by the bakery, isn’t it? The image of the Atlas Bakery solidifies in her head, and the trees shrink away. The windows of the building shake. She can’t see anything through them. Oh, right! Muffins! I was going to see if there’s new muffins for me and Hannah. ''  She reaches for the doorknob, only to have it fall off in her hand. The door falls to the ground with a thud. Unfazed, she walks into the bakery. Everything in here was dark. The floor was all wrong, made up of broken cobbles rather than the worn wood of the bakery on the Arena. As she looks around, the walls and tables stretch up until she can no longer see their tops. She looks down and takes a step, watching her wrapped feet and tattered blue dress flutter ahead as she walks.

Why had I come in here? I’m going to get so caught! Panic runs through the young orphan’s mind as she approaches where she knows the counter of the bakery is, even if the freezing Festenian night meant she could barely see it. Sneaking into places at night had rarely gone well for her, but she hadn’t eaten in days. She needed something. The fear in her mind was losing to the gnawing at her gut that had not been there a moment before, but had been there for as long as she could remember.

A trembling hand reaches up, feeling around on the counter. There had to be a muffin, some stale bread, a handful of flour, anything she could take that wouldn’t be missed. She can’t see that high, but her hand feels nothing, and nothing, and nothing, and then a hand, as cold as death…

Ice crawls down her arm. She screams and runs for the exit, but it had disappeared into the darkness. The ice grows and grows, biting into her arms as she tries to run. It makes her run faster. She stumbles as the growing ice prison reaches her legs. Any minute now, the doctor would find her again, cut her open again, leave her for dead again.

 Karina? 

Not again. The paralyzing cold was everywhere. Not again. Her blood runs cold as the ice broke skin. Not again. She could hear the doctor sharpening the knife. Not again.

Lightning arcs out from her in all directions. The sounds of the knife stop. The ice melts away. Her whole body hurt, but she forces herself up. She’d heard something that didn’t belong in this nightmare. Hannah? How did you- The ice was gone, but she froze.  Karina! 

 ''Hannah’s face was twisted in pain, her hands clutching at a scorch mark on her stomach. She could only watch as Hannah falls to the ground.'' ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Karina! What's wrong? What happened?" Hannah was holding magic in her hands that disappeared as Karina woke up. Karina shook and gasped for air. Wild eyes scanned over Hannah. "You’re okay," she finally managed. She pulled herself up and hugged Hannah tight, crying and laughing and whimpering "You’re okay" into her shoulder.

"Yeah, of course I am. It’s not that dangerous." Hannah looked over at her slightly-less-messy collection of cables, which has been set on her desk. Now there was a place to put a glass sphere in the device. "Did… did you see... You sound a lot like that time after my nightmare when you..."

Karina winced at the image again. "I… I hurt you...I think… I think I… " She couldn’t say it either. She could just keep crying. "I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me. I’m right here." Hannah tightened her arms around Karina. "I’m here."

"Another nightmare," she breathed. She wanted to believe that. "Just another…" But no matter how many times it happened, they were still as scary as the real things from years before. Her breathing slowed, but her body still trembled. "You going to be okay? I’ll be here as long as you need."

"I’m not okay." She moved her arm to look where the cuts from the ice should have returned. Nothing. They'd healed. Why couldn't she remember that? "But I’m not hurt, either." "I'm glad you're not hurt. That happens too much."

Karina could only sniff in response for a few moments. "I guess you’re still working on your thing?" she finally asked. "Is... is there something I can help with, maybe?"

"Almost done! Just making sure I can control how much light it makes, then I put it in a box that's… around here somewhere…" Hannah moved a few extra cables around. "Then you can tell me if it's as pretty as me? It can't even begin to contest you, but maybe it has a chance against me."

A faint smile cracked through the fear. "You keep getting that backwards," she said. "Those lights aren’t gonna stand a chance."

"Maybe, but I'm gonna give it a shot anyways." Hannah stood up and spun in circles a few times as she focused her attention on the ground. The small room had pieces of technology, textbooks, and clothes scattered and shoved about all over the floor, including, somewhere, her aethersteel box. "Do you remember seeing a box somewhere? I kinda put it somewhere and I’m not sure where," she said sheepishly.

"Uhhh, no. It must be under some of this stuff?" Karina wiped away her eyes and followed her to the clutter, looking under some of the clothes and books but not quite sure what she was looking for.

Hannah chuckled. "Yeah, I was, uh… worried about that. I meant to clean this, like, a month ago, and then… well…" she trailed off as she joined in relocating the mess for the search. Karina tried to give her the best smile she could. "How about I help you with that tomorrow then, before anything else gets lost?"

Hannah looked up at Karina in disbelief, which was quickly replaced by her usual smile. "You really want to spend your day helping me clean this?"

"Why not? Helping you is the best way to spend a day." Her smile started to grow, and the pain of the nightmare started to fade.

"I’ve only got one class tomorrow, so if the rest of it’s going to be cleaning, I’m glad you’ll be here to help." Another piece of clothing is tossed aside, revealing the blue aethersteel casing of her box. Hannah ran back to her mess of wires and lightly set the metal box over it and connected the power. A number of glowing dots in blue, red, and white lit up the area above it, slowly orbiting the air.

"Ooooh!" Karina carefully walked over to Hannah, and the girls watched the lights dance around the aethertech lamp for a minute.

"Hold on, I can make it better." Hannah took a step away from Karina and her creation for a moment to slide her hand along the side of a panel near the door, turning off the normal lights and leaving only the dancing lights. "See?"

Darkness. Karina let out a small shout, her breathing quickened and her eyes darted around. Hannah rushed to take her hand again. ''It was just the lights. She was safe. Just the lights.'' "Sorry," she mumbled. She tried to smile again. "It's definitely the prettiest thing you've made so far," she leaned onto Hannah, "but still not as pretty as you." "Hopefully Mister Ora agrees." Hannah yawned. "You ready to try sleeping again?"

"I... I haven't been able to, before," she said sadly. "It's why I've been so tired."

"Well, I'll be with you this time." Hannah lightly took Karina's hands in her own.

An hour passed. Hannah's breathing was slow and even, she had fallen asleep long ago. Karina still lay awake. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw that look of pain. ''She was still breathing. Just a nightmare.'' Karina lightly took her hand. She was here. She was breathing. Karina tried to breathe like Hannah was. They were here. They were breathing. She closed her eyes... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ''Karina wanders around some plane in her work uniform. Twigs snap under her boots and the tools in her pockets make the only other sounds in the quiet forest. Walking in the woods, somewhere on the Arena? This is by the bakery, isn’t it? The image of the Atlas Bakery solidifies in her head, and the trees shrink away. The windows of the building shake. She can’t see anything through them. Oh, right! Muffins! I was going to see if there’s new muffins for me and Hannah. ''  Mmm, didn’t you visit a new plane last week? Hannah was with her now, answering her thought. Why don’t we try something special from there instead?

Oooh, that’s a better plan. Let’s go! The girls take each other’s hands, and run off to another dream together.